Have you ever wondered why with the people we love most we are capable of arguing with an intensity we have with no one else? Why certain reactions from our partner or our mother activate us so deeply?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The answer is as simple as it is transformative: those we love most are our clearest mirrors<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n An emotional mirror is any person or situation that activates an intense emotion in us<\/strong>. That emotion \u2014whether anger, sadness, frustration or fear\u2014 is not really caused by the other person. It is being awakened<\/strong> by them. The difference is subtle but crucial.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Imagine someone comes to your house with a flashlight and lights up a dark corner you did not know existed. It is not the fault of the person with the flashlight that the corner is dirty. Simply, the light revealed what was already there waiting to be seen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We argue because the mirror shows us something we do not want to see<\/strong>. Our partner reflects our need for control. Our mother reflects our abandonment wound. Our children reflect our impatience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And instead of looking inward and saying “what part of me is reacting?”, our ego prefers to look outward and say “it is because you are like that”. It is more comfortable. But it does not heal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The relationship with our mother is, probably, the deepest mirror we will have in this life<\/strong>. Because in it our first experiences of love, care, abandonment and boundaries are reflected. Everything that was not healed in that primary relationship tends to repeat itself in our adult relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When you heal your relationship with your mother \u2014not from guilt nor obligation, but from understanding and conscious boundaries\u2014 you transform all your relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\nWhat are emotional mirrors?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Why we argue with those we love most<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
The mother-daughter relationship as a deep mirror<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
How to heal from understanding<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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